Sunday 26th September @ 7.50 am

 Awake early, arm aching and boob and armpit heavy.   I need to restart my physio exercises because I stopped doing them because my arm felt "normal" after the surgery!   

Realise I am obcessing about how I feel and need to get out of self.   

Today was the second day of my therapy with the "typing therapist".  And wow just enlightening.   Apparently I'm highly anxious.   Not just anxious.  But anxious about ... being anxious !!  

My primary anxiety is and has been probably my whole life my health.  I have health anxiety.  As I've gotten older, and gotten to know myself better, I've learnt to tell what's anxiety and what's real.   I'm typing that briefly, but in actual fact it's been crippling, debilitating and kept me frozen since childhood.  Aside from the operation at aged 3, there was a death in the family and I shut down emotionally.   

Today, I opened up again.   Everything fell into place.   It's like the fear has been lifted.   If I could get through what I had done the last few days, I knew there was nothing more to fear.   Not dying, not being sick, not being out of control.  Nothing.

 

Love Titty and Tracey